Here I am on day 3 of this blog thing. I'm still not eating right yet, a bit better, but not where I should be. I did get on the scale this morning and I'm now at 226 which is still 2 lbs heavier than when I started somewhat counting calories, and I do mean "somewhat". I just made some chicken for dinner and it just wasn't what I wanted, I ate the veggies and picked at the chicken.
My husband had to leave for a meeting and I was almost ready to just make pancakes (for some strange reason I want them), but I'm here instead. I'm NOT going to make them. So here's what I'm going to take baby steps and do:
My goals for the next week:
1. Record EVERYTHING I put in my mouth and be accountable.
2. Eat more salad
3. Get on the treadmill at least 4 times week
Today was the first day of warm weather here and I was realizing I won't be able to cover up as I can in the winter. I really DON'T want to be the fat girl anymore. I don't want to be addicted to food anymore. I'm in control of most of the things in my life except that.
I do know that part of my not being in control is that my dad passed away almost 2 years ago and he was such a big part of my life everyday. It feels like a part of me is missing and I miss him so much. I'm thinking that I'm having issues with food right now because of that. I may be grieving now more than I had and I'm also thinking that my way of dealing is with food. It's not the only reason, because I have had a weight problem for a while now, but not to the extent I am currently. My mom and my 2 sisters who never had real weight issues have put on weight, which leads me to believe they are handling the loss as I am.
Wow...seeing this in print made me realize that I have stumbled onto something here. Maybe I can now move forward for myself.
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